In the past few months, I have had the opportunity to read quite a few blogs.  I ran across one that was full of rants and raves about how unfair life was and what a victim this person was blaw blaw blaw …

Now don’t misunderstand me, I am not an insensitive person, quite the contrary.  I appreciate the personal challenges each and everyone faces.  I recognize the unfairness of life threatening illnesses and the disappointment of not achieving a hard fought for goal – no matter if it was achieving an A on a math test, getting into your college of choice, not getting the job, not getting the promotion, not winning the gold metal, not getting a good medical diagnosis, not getting the man/woman that you love, not finding your soul mate, not beating addition, not having good parents and not realizing your dreams.

What really struck me was this “victim of life” was spending quite a bit of time ranting and raving about his personal circumstances, how he was damaged, how he never got what he wanted, how no one valued him.  What he wrote about was nothing more or less than what everyone deals with each and every day.  The challenge of life is not easy, and everyone has their own demons, vices and obstacles.

This blogger used practiced verbal aggression, combining harshness and coarseness to elevate and validate himself - all the while putting everyone else down for working hard and having goals.  He took his own self-indulgent anger -- and was cloaking it as a rare virtue.  In fact he is rude and his words were set out dominate and humiliate in an effort to raise his own feelings of self worth.

While I can understand the feelings of insecurity and lack of confidence, it is unfair to build deficiencies in this area, at the expense of other people. I admire the athlete that can genuinely shake the hand of a winning opponent and say good job congratulations.  Sure it is hard to move past jealousy and envy – but that is something you need to do in order to live the life and have the experiences you were meant to have.  I believe that if you continue to complain about how unfair life is – you don’t give yourself the opportunity to live your life to its fullest.   

The other interesting part was that, based on what I read, he actually had a pretty good life.  Instead, he just kept ranting on –using pithy, personal, scatological attacks to denigrate colleagues and those he observed throughout his day. He did describe himself as a writer.  One could even mistake his musings as representing his observations of the human condition.  But I believe that this observation would give this person way too much credit.  The words read like a wining child –

Now don’t get me wrong, if something or someone isn’t fair – then fine – go for it belittle away.  Everyone is entitled – every now and then.  However, overall I just believe that we should take responsibility for our own lives and stop putting others down to make ourselves feel better.   

What is value? Can value ever be determined 100% objectively? Which is worth more, real value or perceived value? Which is more important at work, to family, friends, colleagues and ultimately yourself? 

I understand the concept from a marketing perspective and what sells products and the need for perceptions of value.  But when considering myself – I find it hard to consider these same variables.  Personally, I really want to be valued because I am making contributions, my work is solid and people appreciate what I bring to the table.  At the same time, I see others with less than adequate contributions seemingly valued more.  Why? 

I chalk it up to perceived value.  Perceived value is different. Items, people and things may look like they bring value, but there is little to substantiate that claim.  It's the sensationally headlined post promising to solve all your problems in 5 minutes or less. It's the colleague that knows how to schmooze the boss but doesn't know how to work or complete projects.  It's little more than fools gold, and its benefits are illusory.

Perceived value does not automatically mean there's little beneath the surface. It could be the case that there is nothing beneath the surface, but it could just as easily be the case that there's something wonderful beneath the surface.

Value can't be measured as an absolute. It can only be seen in relation to something else. In really thinking about it – isn't real value the illusion. Value is only perception.  The reason 'real value' is so important is because it affects your perceived value so much.

The perceived value of something is very important. The real or actual value is also important, but only in how it maintains and increases the perceived value. That might sound a little strange to think that the reason the real value of something is important is because it affects the perceived value of that something, but it's true.

Here is an analogy to ponder – a firefighter goes to work every day.  These people risk life and limb, put personal safety aside, to help other people when they need it most.  Then you have Paris Hilton, who spends her days shopping and just generally being silly.  She may throw a few bucks at some charities – but generally her whole day is made up of silly things. 

So, of these two individuals who would you like to spend a day with?  Then ask yourself what do you really value - real value or perceived value – and can you tell the difference?

Today, I joined a webinar on the job search process.  What a frustrating experience. 

Two days ahead of the call, I was sent a confirmation, instructions on how to join the call and log-in information - basically all the information I would need to join the webinar.

The instructions were very clear and indicted that folks should try and log-in approximately one hour before the meeting.  This way if you didn’t have the MS Live Meeting program loaded on your computer you could do this prior to the meeting.  The instructions also indicated that you should call into the meeting approximately 15 minutes before the meeting start time.  

So, after reading the instructions and an hour before the call, I logged in and loaded the program as directed.  I then entered all the codes that were provided and without any problems – was linked into the webinar.

I then called the conference call number as directed, 15 minutes before the start of the meeting, entered the codes provided and was linked to the conference call.  So, within a fairly short period of time, I was successfully connected to the webinar and entered the session 15 minutes prior to the start time (11:00 am). 

I was greeted with silence – there was some background noise (dog barking, cell phone ringing etc.).  Then the facilitator introduced herself and asked if anyone was having any technical problems, she asked several times if anyone needed assistance – nothing, no questions, and no problems.

The webinar then began promptly at 11:00 am – for the first 30 minutes of the meeting, the facilitator was asked a multitude of technical questions – folks couldn’t seem to find the log in information, the confirmation or session information etc.  – yet clearly had the instructions in their possession (as they were referencing these documents and used the call in information that was provided on these same documents)  – most of the questions stemmed from not reading or following the instructions. 

What was equally amazing was the complete lack of awareness that there were over 60 people on the call – actually forced to listen to the facilitator walk these people through the basic instructions.

Listening to various exchanges, I couldn’t help but be astounded.  Maybe I am one of those unique individuals that can actually read and follow instructions – I guess that sets me apart with a skill that is rare.

Clearly this is something that I should add to my resume – Ability to read and follow instructions, resulting in more productive meetings and respecting the time of others.

As I mentioned, I am looking for a new job.  I have been looking since December.  Yes my previous employer decided to let people go right before Christmas.  Pure class - it was magnificent.

Anyway, over the course of the past few months, I have been sending in resumes, networking and have even started a networking group complete with social networking webpage.

These efforts have become a part of my day to day activities and have become, in essence, my job. 

While my income stream has become challenged, I really do like my new working environment.  I have a 10 second commute, casual business day is more than relaxed and I really enjoy my coworkers.  Two dogs and two cats.

My new daily coworkers, provide endless and loving support and I can be regularly distracted by their energy and need for attention. 

Clearly, I am home and that means play time, cuddling time and of course snack time.  By their definition, there are more important things to do today than sit in the chair at the desk and press buttons.

There is the outdoors to enjoy and the ball to be thrown and purring and cuddling to be had.  What's wrong with you, my cat Ginger yowled at me this morning, as I was setting in the chair in front of the buttons, her big eyes focused inquisitively at me.  Its time to cuddle and be loved on - I am here and ready for some attention – what can be more important?

I became impatient with her demands – clearly I need to find a job, I need to earn a living and pay bills. 

Then I stopped myself and realized that I had worked for a company for five years.  During that time, I drove myself relentlessly.  I worked long hours, weekends – sacrificing vacations and holidays.  Focused on my commitment to the organization and the "cause".   My life, the people and things around me – a blur with only brief flashes of fond memories.  I was often impatient when my life would interfere with my work and resentful when my work interfered with my life.   I have been here before, realizing what is really important and how fickle the work world is – yet I still got caught up in the trap.

So, today I sit in the chair at the desk pushing buttons – looking for a job - that will probably take me down the same path as before – with my 16 year old orange and black tabby cat yowling at me.  As I turned to look at her again, frustration bubbling – I stopped myself – leaned over and scratched her favorite spot and then picked her up. 

Clearly it's cuddling time – I need to add this action to my calendar.

I have discovered that there are tricks to crafting perceptions of value in the workplace.  I witnessed one person who established a routine process around maintaining perceptions of their personal value. 

This person would start a fire that would then generate/create a false sense of urgency.  Not literally start a fire – but figuratively. This person "The Arsonist" would walk into any situation and within a few moments would proclaim that the project, effort, initiative, procedure – was a catastrophe.  

The world would come to an end if "it" wasn't fixed immediately.  The arsonist was the only one who saw this impending disaster – and clearly was the only one that would be able to lead the effort to save the world, company, and boss. 

Teams would be formed, holiday plans cancelled, individuals would book flights and make plans to "dig in" in order to stave off and fight this fire.  The arsonist would lead meetings, and run people (personally and professionally) through the gauntlet and tear, any work that had been done previously, to bits.

Anyone objecting – would be classified as resistant to change, not a team player, ignorant of the risk, lacking in strategic vision, stupid, lazy and clearly not committed.  Any person that headed the effort previously would be bullied and discredited by the arsonist - so that any objection they made or thoughts they provided on the firefighting efforts would fall on deaf ears. 

The interesting part of this whole cycle was that - at the end of the day – the project would land exactly where it was headed all along.  Everything would be established or managed in the manner of the original effort.  The difference was that the arsonist would receive accolades for saving the company from impending disaster – thus they created perceptions of value for themselves.  

The arsonist also thrived in the situation –when you consider the definition of an arsonist and apply it to an office situation – you can see the benefits, personally and professionally, that a person would receive from exhibiting this behavior.

Deliberate and purposeful fire setting on more than one occasion, tension or emotional arousal before the act; fascination with, interest in, curiosity about or attraction to fire and its situational context or associated characteristics such as paraphernalia, uses, consequences, exposure to fire and intense pleasure, gratification, or relief when setting fires or when witnessing or participating in their aftermath.

I was and continue to be amazed that others didn't see this.  Maybe they did, and went along with the process.  When you think about it – there are advantages to everyone in putting out a fire.  

Except those paying for it –

As mentioned earlier, I am just starting to blog.  So, I did some research and checked out other blogs. 

First, I found that in order to have a good blog - I need to be insightful. Provide my opinion on everyday activities. 

Second, my blog will stand out as poetic and artistic if my opinions are particularly negative, caustic and sarcastic or whatever.  Charging the world and the people who live in it as lesser beings than myself.  Comparing my life and my experiences like Paul Newman in "Cool Hand Luke" - and playing the role of protagonist - refusing to submit to the system.

Third, I found that I should use the word "fuck" as often as possible. It is the one magical word that, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. On top of that, using the word often, will clearly define me as insightful, expressive and more importantly cool. 

I may break these rules - but who the fuck cares.

I have just created this blog.  It seems like everyone I know has started a personal blog.  While it surprises me that a person would want to share their personal life story with the rest of the world, I have found some of the stories of day to day living – entertaining.

So, I thought I would practice the art of blogging. 

This desire comes at an opportune time, as I have recently been downsized from my position.  Yes I, along with several other hundred million people, am looking for work.

So, while I want to believe that my glass is half empty – this state of joblessness has launched me on a journey of self reflection and evaluation.  It makes me wonder if my glass is actually half full.